


So You Had a Bad Day

by MrAudioDrama



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Arguing, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Breakdown, Other, Panic Attacks, Pressure Stimming, Vespa Loves Him Its Just True, anger issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:14:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrAudioDrama/pseuds/MrAudioDrama
Summary: What do people see when they look at Juno Steel? He always wondered what Ma saw. If she ever saw him, really saw him after that day. Or if she just saw a culmination of her mistakes in the form of a naïve kid. Did she see herself? Maybe Jack? Did she see a badge, a monster, or did she always see that kid he used to be? Scared and hungry, unable to stop thinking about how that was her fault, and doing everything she could to be free of it?Juno Steel knows that progress isn't linear, but it sure feels like shit to have to live through it.
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko & Juno Steel, Buddy Aurinko/Vespa Ilkay, Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel, Vespa Ilkay & Juno Steel
Comments: 12
Kudos: 65





	So You Had a Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [holyteeth_prd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyteeth_prd/gifts).



Not every day can be a good day, sure they can outnumber the bad ones, but the bad days always come. Juno Steel would know, his life was one long bad day up until recently, and no matter how fast he runs away from the life he’d left behind, there are still days when the air is too heavy, and every movement feels like a threat. When his words come out harsh, and he can feel Sarah Steel crawling up his throat.

It’s been a long time since he’d come to terms with the fact that Sarah Steel wasn’t a monster, that it was okay to feel her in him. But that didn’t mean that he always believed it. He could feel her shadow cast over him, and for some reason he just knows that everyone else can see it too.

Ramses had once said that Juno Steel was just sounds, it didn’t mean anything. If that were true, then maybe sometimes Juno Steel sounded like Sarah Steel’s kid. Long before he was granted an identity of his own, he was the kid of the angry woman who they could hear shout through the walls. The woman who would scream at the North Star ads she saw at the store like they were Jack Takano himself trying to offer them money.

Juno’s not sure if he’s glad she didn’t take the money. He doesn’t think it would’ve made her any happier, it just would’ve kept food on the table. In hindsight does he prefer Ramses to have been swallowed by his guilt till the moment he died? Or did he want that scared, hungry kid he used to be to have just a little bit less to worry about.

It’s not like it matters, anyhow. He’s supposed to be over it, and thinking about it won’t change what happened. The kid that runs through his nightmares is never going to get that relief. He’s going to be angry, and scared, and alone. He’s going to punch and scream until his knuckles are bruised and his throat is raw. Until Rita is there to bandage him up and tell him he doesn’t have to do that anymore.

What a foolish thought. Here he is, everything he ever wanted, and he’s still screaming. No amount of soft kisses from Nureyev, reluctant affection from Vespa, blunt truth from Jet, or gentle hugs from Buddy have stopped the anger that courses through his veins. His mind is still so,  _ so _ loud, it drowns out the rational thought underneath.

But he’s always been this way hasn’t he? Is it really worth getting upset over? Buddy would tell him that getting upset about it is proof that it’s temporary, that he really has changed. Maybe tomorrow he’ll believe her. But right now it’s just another shitty aspect to an already shitty day.

She’s outside his door now. Nureyev got up before him, and he can’t help but think that was all his luck for one day.

”Darling?” Buddy calls from the door, “If you blow me off again i’m going to start to get the impression that you’ve given up! I hired you for many reasons, dear, but being a quitter wasn’t one of them.”

He feels himself tense, his face scrunches together, “Fuck off!” Flies out of his mouth before he can think. It’s too loud, far too loud for his cry for help to make it past his lips. He doesn’t want to see anybody, he doesn’t want them to look at him and see the truth. See the monster he has always been. Once, he relished such an identity. He didn’t have to worry about losing anyone, when he scared everyone away. He didn’t have to be scared about doing the wrong thing, or saying the wrong thing, because that’s all he ever did.

Everyone gets sick of him eventually, though. The HCPD had given him everything, they had told him he would go places, go far. That his abilities were certain to earn him the rank of Captain in less than five years. They told him he was smart, he was strategic, and above all he was skilled. But it didn’t take him long to bristle against his orders, to get angry when he was asked to dispose of evidence. It didn’t stop them from beating the shit out of him when he dropped proof of corruption straight on his superiors desk.

He wasn’t skilled enough for them to risk him being a liability it seems. His potential was nothing in the face of their end game. It’s a fact of life that people merely humor Juno Steel, the moment he’s no longer usable he becomes a broken tool. He’s thrown out at the earliest convenience.

The only people that’ve ever wanted to keep him around are criminals. Vicky tried to gain rights to his service without his permission, and hell he liked her even. But she just liked how well he worked. Cecil was always trying to trick him into signing a contract, because a face like Juno’s  _ sells _ . Cass only tried once, but he’d honestly thought she was different. He still does. Yet, at the end of the day it comes down to how much people can take before he runs dry.

He hasn’t figured out how Buddy plans to do so yet, especially with her impending retirement. He trusts her, more than he’s ever trusted anyone that’s proclaimed themselves to be his boss. By next week he’ll have forgotten about this aspect completely, he’ll feel at home on the Carte Blanche regardless of how well he can shoot, but he’ll just be deluding himself won’t he?

He hears Buddy’s sigh on the other side of the door, and it cuts straight through him. “Is there anything I can do for you, Juno?” She says, softer. For all Buddy Aurinko presented as the fearless captain, there were times where her voice went soft, and her blunt speeches were packed away.

It figures that she would show that side to him now, when his claws were out and he was seconds away from striking the first thing that moved. For a moment he yells louder than the noise in his head, “No-” He manages, “No, i’m fine. I just… need a minute.” He lies.

He wants lots of things. He wants her to never look at him again, he wants her to open that door and never stop looking at him in that ridiculously fond way that she does. He wants her to tell him this is just a bad day, or to confirm that he’s a monster and get it all over with. He wants her to fire him, he wants her never to leave the Carte Blanche. He grabs the sides of his head and pushes in slightly, begging the thoughts to calm.

He prays Nureyev doesn’t come back, he’d wasted so much of his time the last time he had a bad day like this. In this moment Juno doesn’t care that Nureyev had told him it was no bother, that he  _ loved  _ him, and he would always be there. It still made Juno feel selfish. It had always been framed that way with his fiancée.

She always worked so hard, she said, just to repay her with what? Endless sob stories about how it’s just so tough to be Juno Steel?

Pathetic.

He can hear Nureyev’s voice in his head, soothing and calm. Telling him none of that was ever true. That he’s brave, and he’s come so far. It quiets the noise for just a moment. He wants to hear that voice now… He nearly makes it to the door when he realizes that Buddy is still there, the click of her heels sends him retreating back into the safety of his own solitude.

Solitude was never what he’d used to cope on Mars. In fact, he hated getting lost in his own head. He preferred being able to go out and be a dick without thinking about the consequences. That’s all it feels like he can do nowadays. A dick to Mick, to Sasha, to Julien, to ‘Ssandra. To every single client that ever walked through his doors.

He knows they forgive him. But will he always be that angry person to them, somewhere? Will they always see the shadow of Sarah Steel overcast on his smile? See her hands guiding his fists?

What do people see when they look at Juno Steel? He always wondered what Ma saw. If she ever saw him,  _ really  _ saw him after that day. Or if she just saw a culmination of her mistakes in the form of a naïve kid. Did she see herself? Maybe Jack? Did she see a badge, a monster, or did she always see that kid he used to be? Scared and hungry, unable to stop thinking about how that was her fault, and doing everything she could to be free of it?

He wonders what Ramses saw, because he  _ knows  _ it wasn’t him, not the 39 year old Private Investigator who had Rita disable the kill setting on his blaster. Not the Juno Steel that fell in love with a thief in less than a day, or who robbed the Utgard express, or who was more than ready to die to save Mars from a genocide. Or really… just ready to die. Did he see Sarah? Turbo? Was he trying to repent to the four year old whose life he ruined for  _ nothing _ ? Or did he see a vulnerable man, fresh off of losing an eye, that would be easier to manipulate than play-doh.

Does Rita see a friend, or the angry boss that regularly threw her tv out a window. Does she see the 20 years of anger, or does she see 20 years of  _ hurting _ . Of jokes cracked to avoid vulnerability? Does she see the shadow that he sees? What about Mick? Sasha?

Juno can’t see through other people’s eyes, not anymore. He doesn’t really miss it, not at all. It was far too loud, and Juno’s a damn good detective without training wheels, thank you very much. But looking at someone you love, and not being able to know with certainty they love you the same… it hurts worse than his miserable 40 years on Mars. It’s different when you  _ know  _ they don’t. Like he had with Diamond. Then you can accept it. You can let the pain wash out and be grateful that you’re getting anything at all.

Buddy clearing her throat snaps him out of it, “Juno, I’m going to keep my comms line open if you need to talk. I am your Captain, and I am your family. I will be here for you when you are ready.”

The silence hangs heavily, and he swallows harshly as he hears the deafening clicks of her heels as she walks away.  _ Great job, Steel. Pushing away the only people that give a damn about you. _

He has ways that she’s taught him to deal with these thoughts, to diffuse his anger and remorse. But in the heat of the moment he can’t remember what any of them are, and his journal is buried under a pile of Nureyev’s clothes. He’d look for it, but he doesn’t trust himself not to get frustrated and rip something of Nureyev’s in half.

He pulls a pillow off of the bed and screams into it, letting out an undignified yelp when it is immediately followed by a characteristic knocking. “Juno, love? I’m afraid I left my glasses in there. Is it alright if I come in?”

Juno wants to cry. No it’s not okay!! He’s going to take one look at Juno and realize that every speech he’s given about change has been complete and utter bullshit, and he’ll never come back again. But Nureyev needs his glasses, so Juno needs to get it together.

”Can I just bring them to you?” He squeezes the pillow to him, letting the pressure against his chest soothe him.

”Do you know where they  _ are _ , dear detective?” Nureyev says hesitantly, like he doesn’t want to implicate his own messiness. Of course Juno doesn’t god damn know where they are. He knows that Nureyev does, the mess is organized in his mind. He knows that the red blouse is sitting next to the black slacks which is next to the purple vest that has the glasses sitting on top of it.

Juno respects it, he just can’t navigate it. Just like Nureyev can’t navigate the mess on the vanity, even though Juno could tell you where his exact DiMaggio brand gold eyeliner was with pinpoint precision. He groans loud, and scoots himself to the middle of the bed, “…No.”

”I’ll only be just a minute, I… broke my spares.” He admits, “This must remain a secret between us, but I tripped on the carpet in the common area and they shattered when I hit the ground.”

That nearly makes Juno laugh, but he coughs to cover it up. He’s not in the mood. “Make it quick.”

The door that had been taunting Juno for hours slides open with ease, and the sight of Nureyev takes Juno’s breath away. Just like it always does. For a moment everything is lighter, before his anxiety pushes him back down into his reality.

In the moment his mind wonders, what Nureyev sees when he finds his partner huddled up on their bed, pillows obscuring his view of the entirety of his face. The too big sweater he was wearing, the bunny slippers Buddy had gotten him as a gift that Nureyev  _ knows  _ he only wears when he has a bad day because he thinks they’re cute, and they give him something to look at when he doesn’t want to stare at the wall for five hours.

Does he see the lady he fell in love with? Does he see Juno Steel, Private Eye? Is this Juno the one that left him in a hotel room, or the one that he thought had died? Does he see a liar, or does he see a scared kid. Juno Steel once said he was a lot of different people depending on the day, so which one of them does Nureyev stare at for just a second too long? Which one does he give a small, soft smile and an incline of the head.

He wastes no time plucking the glasses into his hand, but instead of leaving he sits gently on the bed. It makes Juno want to  _ scream _ . Is it so much to ask that he has a bad day in peace? At least when you made everyone hate you they left you the fuck alone when you needed it.

Every nerve feels like it’s standing on end, he can feel the precise way the bed dips with the added pressure of Nureyev sitting on it. “Don't-” he starts

At the same time Nureyev fiddles with his hands, “Love…”

Juno squeezes the pillow tighter in frustration, “ _ What,  _ Ransom.” He grits, it sounds wrong to call him that, but he doesn’t want to say Nureyev like this. Not this angry, not this similar to the Juno who left him.

The soothing voice that sounds like Nureyev tells him that he’ll never be that Juno again. That he’s exhibiting change right now! But he can’t keep himself from thinking about all the hurt he’s ever caused, and wondering what he really did that was so worthy of forgiveness.

Nureyev looks at him in confusion, but forges ahead, “My love, I- You know that if you’re having a bad day… you can talk to me right?”

”Sure” Juno brushes off, “Not havin’ a bad day.” He lies again. Anything to get him out of the room faster.

”We both know that’s not true, Juno. I’m not upset! It just seems that you’re having them a little more frequently this month. You’ve missed shooting with Buddy three time’s already”

Juno’s eye widens, he didn’t tell Nureyev that. He knows damn well he didn’t tell Nureyev that. Is that where they are? Buddy can’t deal with him herself so she sends his boyfriend to throw him a pity party? He grits his teeth, “Did she send you? Is that why you’re here?”

Nureyev sighs, “I did break my glasses, but- I was on my way to find my other pair of spares when the Captain accosted me in the hallway, yes. She was worried about you, and now that she’s told me why,  _ I’m  _ worried about you. You- we both know I’m not stellar at handling emotions, but I can listen.”

Juno should feel happy that they worried about him like that, but he’s just mad that they’re handling him with kid gloves. “I don’t need a god damned babysitter” he hisses, “I’m a grown man.”

”That’s not what-” Nureyev’s hand flies out to gesture, and Juno flinches back, looking from his hand to Nureyev. “Juno…”

”Then what did you mean by it! Would you have come by if she hadn’t told you to? Are you just following Captain’s orders? Is that all I'm worth?”

”Of  _ course _ not!” Nureyev moves his hands slowly back down to his lap, “Of course not, love. I thought you  _ were  _ at shooting practice and that’s why I hadn’t seen you. The moment I heard I came right away.”

”And I thought we discussed me coming to you when I needed you, huh?” Juno feels tears build up, “I’m not- I’m not some bomb you need to defuse before I explode! If I need someone I’ll get someone.”

”Will you?” challenges Peter, “Because it’s been like this for nearly a month now and-”

Rage sweeps through Juno’s body, his eye widens. “What did you just say to me?”

”No- Juno-” Nureyev sighs, putting his head in his hands. The same way he does when he feels Vespa isn’t listening to him when they plan meetings.

”Leave.” Juno says resolutely. “I didn’t want you here before, and I don’t want you here now.”

”But-” Nureyev scrambles for something, anything to change Juno’s mind, but when his eyes meet the heartbroken fury in Juno’s eyes. He composes himself. “Right then. You need your space, and I understand. We can’t always fix everything with a kiss.”

He repeats the lines like they are rehearsed, they’re things Buddy has told them. Juno nods sharply, “ _ Go _ .”

Nureyev sends one last look to him, as he stands and walks to the door. “I love you, Juno.” He says, so soft the sound of the door opening nearly covers it completely.

Juno glares at the bunny slippers, but he still whispers out, “I love you too.”

He sees Nureyev relax out of the corner of his eye, and then the door closes and he is alone once more. He falls flat on the bed, letting the tears escape his eye. This is ridiculous, he barely ever fights with Nureyev. A real feat, given his past relationships.

Maybe Nureyev was right… maybe he needs to reach out. He’d been too defensive when Nureyev was making a genuine argument. He allows himself a few more angry tears, before he grabs his comms and sends an SOS out to the only person he wants within five feet of him right now.

Ten minutes later he hears bickering outside, it all sounds like mumbles but he manages to make out. “Asked.”, “Lay off.”, “Leave it.”, “Worrywarts.”, and “Go  _ away.” _

Immediately after, the door slides open, and Vespa steps inside. He sees a glimpse of red hair and red nails before the door shuts. He shakes his head, he’s not sure if he’s annoyed or touched.

”Don’t worry,” Vespa rolls her eyes, “They’re leaving.”

One of the things Juno appreciates most about Vespa at this moment, is that she stays leaned against the door. She doesn’t take up any more space in his room than she needs to. She knows that she would hate it.

”You sure about that?” He motions to the shadows dancing under the door frame with a fond, but exasperated expression. She groans, and then slams her hand into the door.

” _ I said to drop it!”  _ She glances back at him, “Heard you shouted at Ransom. You never shout at Ransom.”

”Sure did, and sure don’t.” He slowly relaxes the vice grip on his pillow. “I got defensive. Feel like shit about it now.”

”Well why’d you go and do that?” She pokes at him. He lets go of the pillow completely.

”Cuz. They were ganging up on me.” He crosses his arms.

”Buddy doesn’t gang up on people!” Vespa defends, “Not- well. Okay she gangs up on marks, but not on her crew!”

”Then what do you call sending Ransom in here to figure out what’s wrong after I told her I didn't want to talk!” He sits up on the bed, looking her in the eye more intently.

”I don’t know,  _ idiot. _ Maybe it’s called caring about you!” There’s no malice in her eyes, Juno can tell. “Though i don’t know why she bothers.”

”Sure you don’t” Juno smirks. For all Vespa had initially threatened him, their similarities make her the only person on this ship that he  _ doesn't  _ have to worry about the opinion of. He already knows. Because it’s what he thinks of her.

Sure, they clash a lot. But they respect each other more now. They fight, but they never cross boundaries. They push and shove, but they never cut or shoot. They’re perfectly harmless towards one another, and annoying their family in the process was just an added bonus.

So when Juno can’t stop thinking about how everyone must see the shadow of his mother, he knows that even if Vespa could she wouldn’t give two shits. Because even if sometimes he sees the shadow of Vespa’s past, he can  _ always  _ see her through it.

”What’s got you all wound up anyways. I have important things to do, and you’ve got me wasting time on a house call?” Juno motions her further into the room, pointing to a chair she can pull up.

”Technically, since the Carte Blanche is our house, everything is a house call.” He points out, laughing at himself before Vespa even has the chance to get angry about it. It’s the first time he’s smiled all day.

” _ Steel!”  _ She shouts, which only makes him laugh harder. He’s still angry, and he still feels an icy cold hand on his shoulder. But Vespa doesn’t mind a little gruff, doesn’t mind cheap shots so long as they’re not directed at her disability or at Buddy. So he lets himself feel angry without consequence, without worrying that the truth will come out and he’ll be dropped off on the closest planet never to be seen again.

”I’m wound up because i’m wound up.” He grunts, after his laughter has died down and Vespa kicks the side of the bed to remind him of her question. “Because everything is  _ irritating  _ from the ship lights to the sound of the engine and the more fucking irritated i get the more I feel like I never changed.”

” _ You _ ? Never changed?” She laughs, “Steel you’re a changed person every day. You and the thief are more disgusting every morning, for one.”

”Oh, would you take this seriously.” He scowls, “How do you know you’re getting better… on bad days when you feel like you’re in just as much danger as you were last year? When all your words feel like lies?”

She sighs, and her demeanor changes a little. He’s surprised to find it a little more open. “Steel, I'm not gonna be on board this ship for much longer. You know that, I know that. So I’m running out of chances to be honest with you. Really… honest.”

He blinks in surprise, “Vespa…? You don't-”

”The answer is that the only thing you can do is trust yourself, which believe me… when you struggle with not being able to tell reality from hallucinations, it’s a hard thing to do. But I also have to believe Buddy when she tells me I seem happier lately. Because when you’re at your lowest, the only thing you can do is find ropes to help pull yourself back up.”

”I-”

”Let me finish.” She glares at him for a moment. “My ropes, for example, are Buddy loving me, trusting me to be a part of this crew. And… one of them is you defending me, and relying on me when you don’t have to. It was no secret that we despised each other, but I don’t know. I guess it meant more than I thought when you told Rita to let me finish when she kept cutting me off, or when you told Ransom to back off when he was picking at tiny details, or when you told Jet to just trust me when I said I had things under control. I can take care of myself, but, it’s nice to have someone on your side.”

She smiles fondly, “You tell anyone I ever told you that I’ll tell them you’re a liar and then I'll skin you. Got it?”

”I expect nothing less.” He whispers, wiping a tear from his eye, “I didn’t- I thought-”

”What’re your ropes, Steel. Enough about me. Forever. That’s all you get.”

”Sure it is.” He laughs, “But- I- I guess I’ve never thought about it.”

”I’d bet you’ve got one from everyone on this ship, likeable bastard.” She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at him.

”I guess all's fair” He grumbles, “Uhhh… I guess. Ransom sticking around… l- loving me. Ransom loving me.”

She rolls her eyes, “Horrible choice in men, Steel. Really.”

”I told you I’d be careful, V. He really is the best man i’ve ever dated.”

”Yeah and I’m sure the other’s weren’t sunshine and flowers.” She points out. “But you’re an adult. You can make decisions for yourself. I’ll just gut him when the time comes.”

”No gutting my boyfriend!” He rolls his eyes, laughing at her annoyed groan.

”Aside from him I guess… Rita coming with me. After twenty years of me being an asshole she still came with me. Jet letting me help him work on Ruby. I break most technology I trust so he just does it for the company. Buddy trusting me. She wouldn’t waste her time on me if she didn’t think I could shoot again. And… you understanding me.” He looks away from her, “I- I guess I’ve had people who claim to understand how I feel or how I think. But I think you’re the only one who ever actually has.”

She kicks the bed again, “Sap.”

”Ass.” He looks up at her, “Wow- that uh- that actually made me feel loads better.”

”Wow!” Vespa acts mock surprised, “Who could’ve seen that coming! Certainly not the person who gave you the idea!”

”Oh would you-” He sees the amusement in her eyes and starts to laugh.

”Hey, I’m tryna make fun of you here! I’m the one thats supposed to find it funny!” She complains, but she helps him up when he reaches a hand out.

”I’m going to go apologize to Ransom.” He manages, between delighted giggles. “I shouldn’t have yelled.”

”You shouldn’t have.” She agrees, “But he shouldn’t have pushed either. Acknowledge that. Just because I don’t think he’s good enough for you, doesn’t mean I don’t think you should give it your best shot. Go get him, tiger.”

She pushes Juno through the door, and then throws his jacket after him. “Wear that. I’m not letting you walk around the ship in that monstrosity of an outfit.”

He sticks his tongue out in jest, but he leaves his room feeling better overall than he has all month.

There’s a high likelihood that in two months, or three months, this will happen again. But now he has a family, and he has ropes to hoist him up when he falls.

He runs into an anxious Buddy on his way, “Hey!” He exclaims, as she nearly bowls him over pacing back and forth in the hallway.

”Juno! You’re out of your room!” She hides the nails she was biting behind her back. “Are you alright? Are you done talking with Vespa?”

He nods slowly, “We get along better than you think, you know.”

”So you keep saying.” She says fondly, “I suppose I do not have to understand the way the two of you communicate, I need only be grateful that my fiancée and dearest sharpshooter no longer wish to kill each other.”

“Your dearest sharpshooter. Nice nickname.” It’s a little long, and hyper-specific, but it makes him blush anyways. It makes his prior insistence that she was going to bleed him dry seem foolish, just like he knew it would.

Buddy was one of the kindest people he’d ever met, she has such a capacity for caring about the people around her, and she commits to it when she decides to. She’s all but retaught him how to shoot, rehabilitated Jet, helped Nureyev through no less than five emotional breakthroughs, and loves Vespa with every ounce of her being.

He’s glad to be her family. “You… aren’t upset that I missed shooting practice are you?” He mumbles

”Upset? Why would I be upset?” She waves it off with her hands, “That’s nonsense darling.”

”I dunno. The first time I did you were pretty steaming…” He remembers it very clearly, she lectured him for 20 minutes and then made him do everyone’s chores.

”Missing shooting practice because you’re too busy canoodling with your paramour, is entirely different than taking a mental health day. My concern rested entirely in that it was three times in a row, and you were beginning to pull away even when you did come out of your room. I care about you, Juno. I care about everyone on this ship, and when I saw you struggling in silence I panicked.”

She fiddles with the ring on her finger, and looks him in the eye. “I would like to apologize to you. There were a million better ways I could’ve handled this situation. Forcing Ransom on you was not the way to go. I see that now.”

”You- you’re apologizing to  _ me?”  _ He sounds incredulous even to himself, in what world does he get to miss three required shooting lessons, and earn an apology from the person he bailed on.

”Yes, darling. That’s what one does when someone wrongs another. You would’ve come to the decision to talk to Ransom or Vespa on your own eventually, you did six months ago. I- I often get too involved in things, and I want to fix every problem in front of me. With the added on anxiety from the wedding I acted without thinking. I hope you can forgive me.”

Juno doesn’t have words to explain the feeling brewing inside of him. Juno is  _ always  _ the one doing the hurting, the only person that’s ever really apologized to him was Mick, and that was only because Juno refused to apologize himself.

”I mean- I- Of course I forgive you?” He questions, “You were only trying to help, yeah?” He reaches forward to pat her on the arm, and she pulls him into a hug.

”Oh, thank you Juno. It would’ve torn me apart to be on bad terms with you. If you’re feeling up to it, you are welcome to join me tomorrow for shooting practice. A little reschedule never hurt anyone.”

He nods in shock. “I’ll… see you tomorrow then.”

She gives a short laugh, “Oh no, darling you’ll see me for dinner! Tonight! Hurry along to find Ransom, now. Wouldn’t want you to be late because you were making up…  _ again _ .”

Juno blushes harder, his eyes find his bunny slippers. “Right. We’ll be there! Bye Mom- I uh-  _ Shit _ .” He grumbles. He’s been spending far too much time with Rita, who calls her Captain Mom at every opportunity.

Although… if he had to have a mom right now, he thinks, as he turns around and swiftly walks away.

He’d want it to be Buddy Aurinko.

The walk to Nureyev’s room is fast, he has the trek memorized by now. He knocks thrice on the door to announce his presence, and the door slides open. Nureyev is fiddling with the hem of one of Juno’s sweaters, it’s cute, seeing him in one of his fancy outfits, heels and all, with a too short sweater on.

”Miss me that much?” He whispers, as the door shuts behind him. Nureyev’s head flies up to meet his. He seems surprised to see him, not that Juno doesn’t understand, but Juno finds that his worries about how Nureyev saw him have all but disappeared. When he feels his gaze upon him now, all he feels is love.

”I’m sorry!” They both say at the same time, and the tension in the room dissipates.

”You’re sorry?” Nureyev says, aghast. “What do you have to be sorry for!”

”I yelled at you!” He rushes forward and sits on the edge of Nureyev’s bed, “I yelled at you, and I said mean things that I didn’t mean, of course i’m sorry hon.”

”But- you had every right! I’m sorry for pushing you. We agreed that we would give each other space, and- and I violated that agreement. And I implied that you didn’t know what was best for yourself,  _ of course  _ you know what’s best for yourself.”

Juno laughs softly, wiping away Nureyev’s tears, “How about we both be sorry, Nureyev?”

”Oh, so you  _ do  _ remember my name.” He muses. Juno finds his petulant tone adorable, so adorable that he rolls his eyes and pulls Nureyev in by the worn out drawstrings of the hood and into a deep kiss.   
  
Nureyev looks starstruck when Juno pulls back. “Of course I remember your name,  _ Nureyev _ ” He grins wide, “I just hate saying something so important when i’m angry... I don’t want to make you associate it with that.”    
  
“Oh,  _ Juno _ .” Nureyev whispers, hands tugging him closer by the lapels of his trench coat, “You beautiful idiot.” He pulls Juno into another kiss, and he can feel him smile into it.

Apologies to Buddy, but Juno thinks they’re going to be late to dinner.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for Reading!! I will love you forever if you leave a comment or kudos <33 They're very sweet. 
> 
> Find me @MrAudioDrama on Twitter and Tumblr!!


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